He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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