eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
