Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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