The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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