she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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