dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
you will always have a special place in my vag
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We talked him into tasing himself.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
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