Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
