I need help removing her.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
