Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just want to make out with him forever
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
