yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
