HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
it was like eating out sand paper
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Randomize
