i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
