And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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