My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I feel like abortions should bother me more
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
