half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
