I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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