Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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