he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Come on in and take your pants off
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