Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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