so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Randomize
