You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
