i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
