They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
All the doctor said was why
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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