So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
