Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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