the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
