meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
