ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
