and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
