This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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