roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she looked like the before picture.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
