sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
