i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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