i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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