I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Your dad touched me again.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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