quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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