i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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