MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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