we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
