What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
