hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
