doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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