when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
