O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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