imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
