I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
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