The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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