i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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