She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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