I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
